“Are you using ‘I am what I am’ as an excuse for being less than you can be?”

“I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.” One of the most famous lines ever delivered by a philosopher or comic book character!

I thought maybe I’d give you a little background on what made me write that down, or maybe I’d give you a little encouragement along the lines of “be all that you can be.”

But I think you know what it means. I think you know that you are more than a “simple sailor” or a simple ANYTHING. I think you’re looking for access to your deepest, biggest, awesomest self. Just like I am.

And just like I do, I’ll bet sometimes it’s tempting to say to yourself, “I am what I am, I can’t be more.”

So instead I decided I would share with you an exercise that my friend and coach, Dr. Mollie Marti, asked the members of her Heartland Mastermind group to undertake. To write a list of “I Am” statements – and use them as a challenge, as a way to raise the bar and as an incentive to accelerate the pace of the game.

More than the exercise, I decided to share what my fingers, left free to communicate with my spirit without interference from my brain, typed…

I AM…

A unique arrangement of universal matter. I have never been and I will never be again.

I am the seed and the soil, the rose and the rose hip. In everything that I am is everything that I was and everything I can ever become.

I am more cat than dog, more spirit than reason, more complex than complicated, more portal than seeker.

I am a muse, amused and sometimes amusing.

A studier of all people and an imitator of none, an admirer of many and a worshiper of none, a respecter of all beliefs and married to none.

I am a safe haven where my friends can laugh, cry, be silly, be hysterical, can dream or do.

I am challenged by limiting myself to this plane of existence, not limited by the challenges of this plane of existence.

I am powerful, I am afraid, I am stubborn.

I am blessed, I am thankful, I am humble.

I am a free-form work of art, freely forming anew every moment of every day.

Even that isn’t ALL that I am. Because like you, I am more than I can guess, dream or comprehend. I am always becoming what I am, and the more that I become the more that I can be.

Today I challenge myself (and you) to keep becoming – to live from possibilities, not within limitations.

Share your “I AM” statements in the comments – we can ALL inspire one another to BE more.

“We often discover our hidden power only when we need it to recover from failure.”

It could also be said that if there IS no hill you’ll come to a complete stop. But in my experience there is ALWAYS a hill – the only way not to slide down it is to stay at the bottom.

“Words that are UPlifting always get better results than those that are DOWNputting”

While reading about tennis legend, Martina Navratilova I came across a story about one of her first tennis coaches. It seems that this coach was egging the young Martina on by saying things like “if you play like that you’ll never be a professional champion,” while telling anyone who asked that the ONLY female player she was coaching who stood a chance was Martina.

Martina, despairing of ever being good enough to please her coach, nearly left the game.

She didn’t quit – in fact, she was the Number One player for 7 years and still plays on the World Team Tennis circuit as a guest celebrity. Her career wins include 18 singles and 41 doubles Grand Slam titles, including a record 9 Wimbledons, and a total of 167 singles titles and 178 doubles titles.

Of course, her coach was only coaching Martina the way she herself had been coached, but it almost backfired. If it had, the world would have been deprived of some great tennis, but that is the LEAST of Martina’s impact. She has campaigned for equality in women’s tennis, is an active supporter of animal rights programs, she volunteers and contributes generously to organizations that advocate for underprivileged children and serves as the Health and Fitness Ambassador for AARP. Impact that would have likely not been accessible to Martina if she had turned her back on a career in tennis.

It led me to think about coaching methods – both as a coach and as a client.

I’m not a huge sports fan, but I have closely observed the traits of winning coaches. I have seen the ones who scream at their players win and I have seen the winning records of coaches whose style was more of what “The One Minute Manager” author, Ken Blanchard, calls “catch em doing something right and reward THAT.” It’s temping to think that the boot camp approach of say, Bobby Knight works well with some players while others respond better to a quieter style like Roy Williams‘. But I have to wonder how much better people would respond if the “boot camp” were a little less brutal and a little more uplifting.

As a coach I know that my clients don’t prosper if I “let them off easy.” And as a client I want to be challenged. We’re supposed to offer “tough love” and “hold people’s feet to the fire.”

I’ve had coaches, maybe you have too, who seemed to think my best performances were to be had by telling me all the ways I need to improve, the things I was failing to do, the shortcomings they could see so clearly. And I’ve had coaches who acknowledged achievements and successes even while pushing me to greater heights. I hope you’ve had a few of those, because I have come to believe this:

The “tough” might get results, but alone it is a negative motivation at best and often acts as a deterrent. The “love” part alone is comforting but does not necessarily build us up. Only when the “tough love” is fully interwoven do we have the confidence, validation and impetus to reach higher than we could have on our own.

You might think I’m writing this to tell you how to coach or what to look for in a coach. Well, I’m not sure why I started writing this – like many posts it is just growing organically. But I think I really wrote this to suggest to myself and to all of you that we pay attention to how we coach ourselves.

One of my favorite “raves” on my testimonials page is a single sentence from Ana Gabriel Mann, an internationally recognized compensation consultant. She says ”Dixie has the amazing ability to hold her clients “toes to the fire” and create realistic expectations and boundaries while also being an authentic, respectful and loving presence.”

I happened to read that quote from Ana just after reading the story about Martina, and the thing that crossed my mind was “I need to be as good to myself as I am to others.”

I often beat myself up, how about you? I often set unrealistic expectations and boundaries for myself, how about you? I don’t always respect and love myself, how about you? I’ve even been known to lie to myself, how about you?

I have a powerful belief that one of the greatest mistakes we can make is to look outside for what we need to discover inside. Today I realized that “tough love” is one of those things. We all need coaches, they offer a perspective on our “game” that we can’t get by looking inside. But our “winning record” begins with being our own best “uplifter.”

I’m going to start listening to my words to myself and making them UPlifting, not DOWNputting. How about you?

“Knowing the difference makes all the difference.” (From the “Dream it – Plan it – Work it – Live it” deck. 10 of Clubs)

“Chin up – anything else is a pain in the neck.”

(From the “Dream it – Plan it – Work it – Live it” deck. Red Joker)

(From the “Dream it – Plan it – Work it – Live it” deck. Four of Hearts)