I recently asked for feedback from my audience after an afternoon of teaching “Creating Endless Referrals The Go-Giver Way.” I often get comments about networking strategies and systems or how to be more open to receiving and there were several comments along those lines. But this comment really stood out to me:

“The information is great and well presented but, (there is always a but) you talk about being authentic. How can I be real when networking and working the room is just so not who I am? I abhor salespeople and people who seem fake. I need more info on how to network and still be me.”

Translation – “How do I learn to initiate relationships MY way?”

I was reminded again of this comment while I was having a conversation with Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals and co-author, with John David Mann, of The Go-Giver. He and I were recording a session about blasting thru the brick wall of “style” for the “Dynamite Dialogs – Blasting Thru Brick Walls” audio learning series and how that type of barrier relates to Law #4 from The Go-Giver which is the Law of Authenticity that this attendee is referring to in his comment. (Find out how you can get the session with Bob and get $50 off when you pre-order the entire series.)

Have you ever watched someone doing something you really want to be good at doing and thought either, “I could never do that that way so I can’t do it at all,” or “I would never do that that way so I can’t do it at all?” That’s what I call the “brick wall of style.”

I often use Bob as an illustration of how we say “I can’t” and create brick walls around “style.” As most of you know, I’ve been teaching the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success from The Go-Giver for over two years and now also speak on the system for networking your way to success that Bob pioneered in Endless Referrals. If I said “What I really want to do is help people be stratospherically successful by using the Five Laws and the Endless Referrals System,” I might very easily follow that by saying “But I can’t because I can’t present them the way Bob Burg does.”

If I had to be LIKE Bob in order to teach his materials I would definitely have a problem. Fortunately, helping people achieve Stratospheric Success using these fundamental laws and systems doesn’t require that I adopt Bob’s style, I can adapt the materials to my style and even adapt those aspects of Bob’s character that I so admire – such as his graciousness, attention to individuals, sincerity and generosity – to my personal style as well.

Bob and I had a great conversation about how to create a winning personal style by adapting (though as he is quick to add, NOT adopting) what you see and admire in role models and mentors and mindfully cultivating important character traits, but I kept thinking about this comment. What if you want to be successful at something and most of the people you see doing it are setting examples you don’t WANT to model? What if you not only can’t do it that way, but you just simply won’t?

First, let me suggest that for every “I don’t wanna be THAT guy” example there is an example of someone being successful in that role that you would want to model. They might just be going about it so quietly they’re hard to notice for all the commotion being made by people you don’t want to imitate. Pay closer attention and find those people.

The question of how to “work a room” without being that “fake glad-hander” is a good example. I know from extensive experience in networking situations and in coaching networking and relationship building, the “glad-hander” you’re thinking of is usually well-known, but seldom well-respected. So let’s not even think about figuring out how to be “that guy” (or gal.)

But what if circulating at an event still isn’t your style? I don’t think this person was suggesting that everyone who is good at working a room seems fake, only that for him to try to imitate their style would be fake and he abhors fakeness in sales people (and honestly don’t we all prefer authenticity in everyone?)

Perhaps the most important thing I can say to this person, to all of you, and to myself is that in networking, or in anything else, being anything less than authentic is a dead end. That road might end for you the minute someone shakes you hand, it might not end until you have a retained client who slowly begins to realize that you are not the person they thought that you were. But it WILL end.

As that pertains to networking (or what I would prefer to call “initiating relationships”) it is important to remember that you aren’t at an event (or online as the case may be) to meet a LOT of people. You are there to attract people who resonate with you, people who will like you and trust you once they get to know you. You don’t need to “glad-hand” to do that. You need to smile and say hello. You don’t need to be an extrovert, you need to be friendly. You don’t need to be the most interesting person in the room, you need to be the most interested person in the room. And if you aren’t authentically interested in them, why would you want to work with them? (And why would they want to work with you?)

A few tips to those who are a little shy of even going to events, initiating relationships or exchanging business cards.

1.)    Use the “buddy system.” If you attend with a person you already know you won’t be left standing alone until someone returns your smile. And you can introduce them, and have them introduce you, which is easier than introducing yourself.

2.)    Just make eye contact and smile. Some people will glance away, maybe they are also shy, don’t take it personally. Many people will return your smile and shake your hand. Yeah, you just initiated a relationship.

3.)    Ask for their card and only offer yours if they request it. Tell them you’d love to keep in touch and, if you have a presence on line ask if they use any of the social networking sites to stay connected.

4.)    Remember that you aren’t there to sell, and neither is anyone else there to buy. You’re there to get to know PEOPLE and give them a chance to get to know you. Even the next time, or maybe the next time, you connect with these people you aren’t “selling” anything except yourself. ONLY when you have established a “know, like and TRUST” relationship should you have a conversation about what you sell or who you’d like to meet.

I have found that ANYONE can use those four pointers to improve their comfort and ability to initiate relationships. Now take that and apply it to what you “really want to do.” Have you been trying to do it in a style that isn’t comfortable, natural or maybe even advisable and coming back with “but I can’t because?”

It wasn’t that the book upset me. Far from it. Go-Givers Sell More is a delightful read (I especially love The Law of Left Field) with a lot of very practical information on building successful traits and real life examples of how The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success from The Go-Giver can be applied.

No, I was crying because I had reached page 73 and discovered my own story as one of those real life examples.

I still feel a little sorry for those two gentlemen who shared my plane ride that morning. I don’t suppose there is anything more unsettling than to have a complete stranger get all teary-eyed and you without a hanky or another seat you can move to. But I assured them all was well, happy tears, and flashed them a big smile to prove it.

It was, after all, a story about smiling. In December of 2008 I had posted a story on this blog titled The Perfect Gift. In it, I recounted how, as a young manager in an accounting firm, I played a game called “what will it take to make you smile.”

John David Mann surprised me by reposting it to The Go-Giver blog. I was thrilled and honored, but I didn’t think a lot more about it. As it turns out, he and Bob Burg thought a lot more about it. They included that story in their second Go-Giver book; Go-Givers Sell More.

Now, with the third Go-Giver book in development (that is ALL I’m going to tell you) and with the season of giving once more upon us, I want to share the sequel and what I think is the REAL lesson in that story.

If you read that post, you know that I made a “personal walking ambassador” out of one “difficult client.” As many stories do, this one takes an unhappy turn before it all turns bright again. You might think that my employers and peers would have learned something from my little game. In the perfect parable it would have changed our culture, invited in sunshine and ended with the corporate equivalent of angles singing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Not at all. In fact, they mocked me for being a Pollyanna. I was teased about thinking that just because I could win over one grouchy vet that I could change the world. Let me cut that train of thought short by just saying it was NOT a happy place to be for me, or sadly enough, for the people who refused to see the potential of a smile.

So I left. Intending to enroll in college again I applied with a temp agency where they asked me, ever so nicely, to interview with a dentist who had engaged them to recruit an office manager for him. I knew nothing about dentistry, didn’t intend to take a full time job, let alone another management position, so of course, when he offered me the position I said “yes.”

Here is where the “lesson” part comes in (just so you don’t get caught up in the story and miss it.)

Dr. Theodore (Pete) Wiklund, being a dentist, valued smiles. But even more, he valued the attitude of giving people a REASON to smile. He encouraged me, he invested in me, he mentored me (and he took care of my smile very well.) In the first few months as I tried to learn dentistry and dental management, he would often stay after patient hours and walk me through the procedures he had performed so that, the next day, I could carry on an intelligent conversation with our patients. If I asked to take a continuing education course he paid for it. If I suggested a team building activity he supported it.

He encouraged me to take on the role of practice ambassador in the community. I volunteered at the local community theater and he helped sponsor every show I worked. I enjoyed serving on committees with the Chamber of Commerce and he excused me from my daily duties to attend meetings. The list goes on, he gave me reasons to smile and he and his team and I gave our patients reasons to smile.

In the time I was his manager the practice more than doubled in revenues. We moved into a new modern building, added an associate dentist and were on the leading edge of technology for both patient treatment and patient comfort.

Many years later, I visited his practice as a management consultant. He had added yet another dentist, expanded his space to meet patient demand and his revenues had increased proportionately. I asked him what he was doing to be so successful in a small college town that was known for being one of the most competitive markets in the Midwest. He said, “The same things we did when you were here, Dixie. It’s working.”

(BTW – If you’ve ever heard Bob Burg speak on Law #1 from The Go-Giver and he mentioned the value added by the dentist who called her patients the day after difficult treatment… yes, we did that. Always.)

Why is a smile the perfect gift? Because a smile is a gift that validates the giver and the recipient at the same time. Because one smile is a reason for another smile. Because if getting a smile feels good, smiling in return feels even better. Especially during the holiday season, when the days get short and the to-do lists get long, a smile can make the day a little brighter and the load a little lighter.

But think about this…

What if the accounting firm had seen the VALUE in a culture where smiles are a valuable commodity? I assure you that Dr. Wiklund’s success was directly proportionate to the consistency with which he and his team recognized the value of a smile (and not just because smiles were their trade.)

What if YOU made it your business to have a “smiling attitude?” If you put “adding joy wherever I go” at the top of your to-do list, not just during this season, but year round?

I can’t predict exactly what would happen. If you DO decide to play my game of “what will it take to make you smile?” be sure and study Law #5. Because I think, if you do that, you’ll need to be “open to receiving” all kinds of wonderful gifts in return.

What if one day you saw a dragon flying overhead? Wings spread wide, scales glinting in the sunshine, and flames erupting from his maw – a real, live dragon. Would you say “that is a dragon”?

I doubt it. Your mind would struggle to make sense out of the non-sense being fed to it by your eyes. Because your brain “knows” that dragons only exist in fairy tales and J.R.R. Tolkein stories. If we do not believe it is possible we won’t recognize it when it is right before our eyes.

It is a common barrier to living our dreams – not believing in the “impossible.”  Instead we buy into things like “I’m not smart enough” or “I’m not creative” or “I’m too old” and add “so it is impossible for me.”

Ask yourself “what if it were possible? What if my age didn’t matter and my creative abilities were validated?”  It’s called “suspending disbelief” – we do it when we read books or see movies about dragons for instance. We don’t believe that dragons fly our friendly skies along with the jets and the geese, but we are willing to believe in dragons in the context of the story.

Now ask yourself, “IF that were possible, what else would be possible?”

This is your story. If it has dragons in it then you need to believe in dragons. What else do you need to see in order to create your happy ending? What belief is keeping you from seeing what is right before your eyes? What possibilities might exist that you can’t see because you do not believe they are possible for you? Remember, if you don’t believe in dragons you will never see a dragon.

Know what possibilities or opportunities you’d like to see. Use techniques like vision boards or written goals to keep them right in front of you all the time. Be willing to say things such as “the opportunity exists for me to use my skills, experience and abilities to the greater good of mankind and make a good living while doing it.” And when the “yeah buts” raise their heads you’ll start to understand why you have never seen opportunities to realize that dream – the “yeah buts” are the belief systems that tell you that you are seeing geese when in fact you’re looking at a dragon.

You can prove yourself right, that is easy to do, just keep ignoring all those opportunities. Or you can admit that dragons do exist in your world. As each “yeah but” comes to the surface keep asking “but what would I do if I were smart enough, or young enough, or…” then go do it. Best-selling author (Endless Referrals and The Go-Giver) Bob Burg calls it “act as if” – behaving as though something were already true. Knowing how you would behave or what action you would take and then “acting as if” it were true will open windows and doors to possibilities you would have never glimpsed before.

That’s right - “Here be dragons”

I’m no expert on love. Believe me, I am as frequently and as completely baffled as any of you.

I love to read ABOUT love – from Rumi to Edna St. Vincent Millay, I’ve read the poets’ interpretations of love. But I’d never really thought about how it related to business until I crafted a keynote for Yellow-Tie International’s Build Your Own Brand event with Bob Burg and Scott Ginsberg. One of the questions I posed in that presentation was “what brings people back for more of YOU?”

Not more of your services or products but more of YOU.

Without exception, the answer lies in how you made them feel about themselves, not in how you made them feel about you. Did you make them feel smart, appreciated, beautiful, welcome, validated? In short, did you make them love themselves a little more than they did before they engaged with you?

Do you help people fall in love with themselves?

Because anyone who loves themselves even a little more because of spending time with you, doing business with you, having a conversation with you – that person is your fan for life. They will always love you because you helped them love themselves.

How in the world do you get someone else to love themselves more? Reflect to them the things you see in them that are worthy of love. When they feel genuinely appreciated, welcomed, respected or admired they feel like the little tomcat in the picture seeing the mighty lion in the mirror, they love what is reflected back to them.

What do people see when they look at you? Do they see only you, or do they see themselves reflected in your eyes?
How do you begin reflecting love? First, you have to be focused on them. What authors Bob Burg and John David Mann in The Go-Giver and the follow up book Go-Givers Sell More call “other-focused.” You can’t reflect anything back to someone else if you are only focused on yourself, your services, or your products. Second, it has to be genuine. Empty flattery might get you somewhere, but it won’t get you a friend or a client for life. That’s right, you have to focus on the other person and find them worthy of love.

Robert Merton, who is credited with coining the phrase “self-fulfilling prophecy” said “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves.”

Love that does not begin with allowing others to be perfectly themselves is conditional love at best. No one wants to be loved conditionally – that kind of love is a barter agreement that says “so long as you are/do/say THIS then I will love you.” That won’t bring clients back for more of you. (It doesn’t do much for personal relationships either but that is NOT my area of expertise – see the opening sentence.)

Only by allowing and reflecting the other’s “personal perfection” can we help them to love themselves a little more. Only by treating them as the “complete and without defect or blemish” individuals that they truly are can we show them the “lion in the mirror.”

I have a number of people I turn to when I need to be reminded of the powerful lioness hidden in my kitty cat soul. Some are friends, some are people with whom I do business, many are both. They know I have my faults, but they remind me that every one of my faults is also a strength and that I am, in fact, perfectly myself.

I have a couple of stories I want to share about loving our faults but I think that will have to wait for the next post.
For today (or any day) go reflect love back to the special people in your life. Whether they are your clients, your friends, your family or your special someone, show them how much you appreciate, respect, admire and welcome them just for being who they are.

Recently, my good friend and continual source of inspiration, Bob Burg, challenged us to reconcile a couple of well-known and generally accepted idioms.

“If it is to be it’s up to me.”

And

“No one does it alone”

So which is it? Are you Atlas with the weight of the world on your shoulders or are you part of a team effort?

Does your individual success rest on you or on your team?

Why does it have to be either/or? Let’s start with who is accountable. That one is easy, we are accountable for our actions, our behavior and our personal performance. It is up to us to take initiative, we are in the driver’s seat and that means ultimately that vehicle only goes forward when WE put it in gear and it only goes where WE steer it to go. It is up to us to do our best under any circumstances.

But that doesn’t mean we make the journey alone. We can delegate tasks that are essential to our success, we can build a team. Notice I said “delegate” not “abdicate.” We can make other people responsible for tasks by an exchange of value, hiring, outsourcing, bartering, etc… They do not take on being accountable for our success, only responsible for the tasks they take on. It is still up to us to make sure those tasks are being completed to standard and in a timely manner. So it is also up to us to surround ourselves with team members who accept responsibility and perform to our standards.

It is also up to us to surround ourselves with people who will support us in reaching our chosen destination and who will challenge us to dream of destinations we could not imagine without them. It is up to us to communicate clearly and openly, first with ourselves and then with others, about where we want to go and what we need to get there. And it is up to us to support others in their journeys as well.

Another cliche that happens to be true – “no man is an island” – we do not go through our lives in isolation. That is part of the “if it is to be” – that doesn’t just refer to our achievements but to the outcomes of the community, the society, the world!

We all have the opportunity to make joyful contributions to the journeys taking place along side of our own. We can lend a hand to a fellow traveler, or an ear or an encouraging word. Sometimes it is the joyful contributions that propel us forward the most powerfully because they are not offered from a sense of obligation; out of accountability or responsibility, but from a sense of companionship and camaraderie.

It is up to me, and up to you, and up to everyone else. We begin it, we commit to it, and we invite others to join us because “no one does it alone.”

Last week I got to do something I had only dreamed of doing; I delivered a keynote for Build Your Own Brand, an event that showcased three of my greatest heroes, two as the featured speakers and one as the Master of Ceremonies. It was in my own city so I got to deliver to a “home crowd” – in fact, the audience included friends, fans and clients as well as local business owners and high level executives whom I had never met.

With complete latitude to present anything I wanted, I scripted a signature speech that opened with The Flaming Lips and the story of a funeral, went right through some of my own challenges and epiphanies and wrapped up with a clip from one of my favorite films. (Sounds strange I know but it all makes sense in context.) I pulled out the stops and went straight for the heart of it.

The opportunity was a dream come true but there is nothing like a dream coming true to make you recognize how closely related dreams are to nightmares. I was pumped up but I was also having the speech writer’s version of night sweats. Was rocking out to The Flaming Lips at 8:00 in the morning too in-your-face? Was the story too personal, would they be able to relate? Was the slide show too over-the-top? And most of all – would I be able to do justice to the great speakers who would follow me on the stage and to the MC who was going to be “vamping” me in front of about 100 of his friends and fans?

That’s when my heroes stepped up to make me great. As the founder of Yellow-Tie International who were sponsoring the event and as the best “vamp” I know, Gill Wagner was MCing the event. He went to great lengths to tell the world how thrilled he was that I would be presenting. One of our featured speakers, Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals and co-author with John David Mann of The Go-Giver, came into town a couple of days early to do some media interviews and spend some time working with me. While I never asked for reassurance Bob made it clear in dozens of little ways that he had no doubt that I was going to be “dynamite”. Finally, Scott Ginsberg, our other featured speaker and author of several books including Stick Yourself Out There, went so far as to slip me a note the night before the event that said “You OWN tomorrow – I believe in you.”

Magical words aren’t they? “I BELIEVE IN YOU!”

I realized that night, reviewing my slides and cues, pacing the floor, checking my face for last minute blemishes (oh come on, you have those nightmares too) and then trying to slow my heart rate down enough to sleep (way too early for MY natural night owl’s circadian rhythms) that was exactly what all three of these wonderful friends and fantastic pros were trying to tell me – they BELIEVED in me. Not in my talent or my material, but in ME!

Once that realization blasted through my half sleeping mind dozens of faces lined up behind my “big three.” The “boys of Spoke” clients, friends and lifesavers all, Dan Klein, Brian Schwartz and David Meyer, weren’t just sponsoring the event and producing the marketing materials because it was good business – they believed in me. The same was true of my client and good friend, Bill Ellis, who not only sponsored the event but brought several guests. And it was true of my friend Ruth Binger, whose law firm was a sponsor and who personally brought several guests. I finally got it – the people who had been saying “you’re going to ROCK” weren’t just giving me a pep talk – they believed it. They believed in ME. I breathed that in, drifted off to happy dreams and woke up ready to do just that – ROCK it!

Today a Facebook post from a friend I share with Gill Wagner and Bob Burg and whom the rest of you really ought to have the pleasure of getting to know – horticulturist, musician, foot-massager and humor-lover, Heather Williamson, really brought the lesson home.

Her Facebook status today said “What if you made others greater, every day?”

She does, I’ve seen her do it. And Gill Wagner does, and Bob Burg does, and Scott Ginsberg does and all those other supporters who told me in so many ways “I believe in you” do. It’s what they all have in common – they make others greater because they believe in the greatness of others.

They embody The Go-Giver Law #4 – the law of authenticity. They really believe and they share that belief so sincerely and so freely that the people around them can’t help but be greater. What I had to learn was Law #5 – the law of receptivity. I had to learn to breathe in the gift they offered and LET it make me great.

What does this mean to you? It means you CAN make others greater, every day. You have that power. And it means you can BE greater by accepting the gift of other’s belief in you. You have that power too.

Not sure how to connect those dots? Send me an email at Dixie@DixieDynamiteCoaching.com and tell me your greatest challenge with making others greater or letting others bring out your greatness. That’s right, send me an email and I’ll send you my thoughts. It’s that simple – it’s the least I can do.

Then I got inspired by the words of a 19 year old entrepreneur whose entry for the Go-Giver tour contest was so authentic, so natural and so dead on that I just had to respond in kind. Watch Michael W. Montgomery’s video contest entry and read the comments posted, you’ll see what I mean.

Here is my first video, with thanks for the inspiration to Michale Montgomery and authors Bob Burg and John David Mann.

The comments following the post of Michael’s video included the question “what law in The Go-Giver can you relate to?”

Michael’s response was “Right now I think I relate best with either Value or Authenticity… I’d like to level it out over the whole spectrum of laws but it may take some time.”

There is the real secret to stratospheric success – “the whole spectrum” and “it may take some time.” See it doesn’t take time for the Go-Giver laws to work, but they work only when we work them. So the real question is “how long will it take you to start applying ALL FIVE laws?”

See business success is usually measured by what you GET. Your income, your material wealth, the company’s profit, etc… We measure the outcome but we must focus on what we put into achieving the outcome. As Bob Burg says, “shift the focus from getting to giving.”

I recapped in the video above some of the highlights from each of the laws that have been the most transformational for me and for my clients.

If you want to know the laws get the book or visit The Go-Giver website. What I’m giving here are just a few of the lessons I’ve latched onto after a year of coaching the laws.

Law #1 – Ernesto says “Will it make money is not a bad question. It’s just a bad FIRST question.” In fact, he goes on to say, if the first question you ask is “will it serve” and you can find a way to give a resounding YES as an answer you can’t help but make money.

Law #2 – Nicole shares with Joe how the concept she created for a classroom of kids has been translated into a thriving business that now shares that concept with thousands of kids and Joe realizes that it isn’t JUST about value – it is also about impact. How many people can you serve and how much impact can you have on those people? Nicole reminds us that this law means that there is no limit on your income because if you are adding significant value you can always find more people to serve.

Law #3 - Sam shares his discovery of how to create an army of Personal Walking Ambassadors. This is a more powerful sales force than you could ever hire or afford to pay.

Law #4 – Deborah tells her audience that even after learning everything there was to know about real estate and about selling she was still desperate and broke. It was only after learning how to share the gift of herself and realizing that 10% of success is achieved through skills and knowledge and 90% is achieved through relationships that she reached stratospheric success. It isn’t just about BEING authentic, it is mostly about the willingness to contribute that authentic self to every relationship you make.

Law #5 – Finally Joe meets the “secret guest” and learns the power of breathing in. He realizes that giving is the equivalent of breathing out and that it is not possible to only breathe out and live – you must also breathe in. Further, you can’t select the particles of air you take into your lungs, you take every breathe in faith that it will include the oxygen you need to sustain life and create health.

This, then is the secret as shared by a 19 year old entrepreneur. Work toward “leveling out across the entire spectrum” and you can’t help but reach stratospheric success.

How social media is drawing like minds together at all hours of the day or night

Tonight I got to hear a friend’s voice for the first time! I couldn’t hold back a delighted chuckle when I heard a voice say “This is Heather O in North Carolina.” I knew her face, and I can honestly say I knew her philosophy and her spirit, but I’d never heard her speak.

I had dialed into a conference call featuring four entrepreneurs who are organizing The Go-Giver Tour and were holding the call to discuss how the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success could be applied using social media. I knew my friend was dialed into the call as well, but I didn’t expect to actually hear her.

The reason for my being on the call, the thing that brought Heather and I together and the way I knew that she was listening too; twitter. That’s right, twitter. The mysterious, who-cares-what-everyone-else-is-doing, 140 characters or less, micro-blogging phenomenon, twitter.

Heather and I “met” on twitter because we shared an interest in The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. Turns out we’ve both been teaching and coaching on how to apply the laws. We had some terrific conversations – yes conversations can take place on twitter – and I watched for her posts with interest because they never failed to inspire, motivate, challenge or lead me to more great people to follow.

Then came the Go-Giver Tour. An exercise in applying the five laws, it started with four guys who didn’t know each other until they connected – you guessed it – on twitter. I saw their posts, was intrigued and finally impressed and reached out to connect in person. I’ll be helping them put together a live event in St. Louis when their tour lands them here on April 22^nd.

The Go-Giver Tour’s ultimate destination is Orlando for the Extreme Business Makeover Event hosted by my friends Bob Burg and Thom Scott who, along with seven other amazing speakers like Jon Gordon, Libby Gill, Josh Hinds and Scott Stratten, will be presenting a three day, idea and action packed seminar designed to help entrepreneurs uncover hidden assets, overcome weaknesses and create an action plan. Guess where they are promoting it? That’s right, twitter.

At this point you’re probably going to answer “twitter” to any question I ask, right?

Well, guess where I’ll be meeting the organizers of The Go-Giver Tour; Gilbert Melott, Bradley Will, Brian Tomkins and Gabe Strom. No, not twitter. The answer is here in St. Louis for a real, live, in person meet up to celebrate their tour and the young entrepreneurs who have won the opportunity to travel with them, learn from them and attend the Extreme Business Makeover Event (including some private time with author, Bob Burg.)

Guess where I’ll be connecting with Heather next? No, not twitter. We have a phone call scheduled to discuss teaming up on some Go-Giver coaching teleseminars. Great value indeed.

Guess where I’ll be connecting with you next. You tell me! I’ll look for you on twitter, and on Facebook and on Linked In because I LIKE networking in my PJs with a cat on my lap and a puppy on my feet. But I also like networking at coffee shops, conferences, offices and anywhere else people of like minds congregate.

My motto and what I teach my clients; “Your network is your safety net and your fishing net. It will save your life and feed you for life if you build it well and treat it right.”

How are you expanding your net?

How are you strengthening your net?

For one thing, they apparently spend a lot of their time at the top of very high mountains. Mountaintops tend to be chilly places and I’m not fond of temperatures below 60 F. Nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

For another they were always male, serene and scantily clad. I’m female, serene only by extreme discipline and well come on, let’s not go there (especially not at those temperatures.) In fact, the list of why I did not strive for guru status goes on and on and gets much more serious than altitude, weather and wardrobe.

I thought I understood why gurus lived on mountaintops. It was to avoid the throngs of people who wanted to know the secret to “life the universe and everything”. It was to keep from falling victim to the ego trip of knowing you were wiser than the average bear. It was to prevent the world from squandering their hard won insights into what makes the sky blue and the wind blow. Anyone who wanted to share in the guru’s enlightenment had to pay a pretty steep price (or at least climb a pretty steep hill.)

Some of my dearest friends are gurus. Literally. Defined as “a teacher and guide in matters of fundamental concern”. And none of them live on mountaintops.

Because how do you add value from the top of a mountain?

These modern gurus act (and dress) a lot like the rest of us. They bear more resemblance to Pindar in The Go-Giver (written by a couple of my favorite gurus, Bob Burg and John David Mann) than they do to the Hindi leaders of old. What do they do with the secrets, wisdom, insights and enlightenment they have accumulated? They share it.

Like Pindar, they add value to every life they touch.

Their example made it flattering (without these role models it would have been intimidating) to be granted guru status by a couple of recent connections.

My first crack at guru status put me about as close to inhabiting a mountaintop as I want to come but it was (and continues to be) a fantastic experience. The Rise to the Top, hosted and produced by David Siteman-Garland is, as he says, “not your grandpa’s business show”. (His description of a “talk show on steroids” is more on the mark.) But David packs it full of humor and solid informaton and augments it with downloadable resources that correspond to each episode. It’s fun, fast and informative!

I got to sit down with David on episode #4; Secrets to building great business and personal relationships and let him grill me about how to “grow your network by 1000%” or something unbelievable like that. You just can’t be nervous taking to David, you’re having too much fun, and he and his film crew were fantastic. They made me look and sound pretty good and then the editor took over and made me look and sound better.

Shortly after that show first aired I started hearing myself referred to as a guru.

The next “incident” came through a blog written by Jason Thomas called The Giving Experiment. He references a coffee meeting I had with him and his friend Greg Younger and our host and catalyst for the meeting, Kevin Pannebecker. (Jason, I hope you weren’t really nervous about meeting me and that was just a wee bit of literary embellishment?) Jason has been observing and sharing his experiences in putting the Five Laws to Stratospheric Success from The Go-Giver into action. (He is currently looking to transition his career path into a sales role so if you’re looking for a sales professional who is a go-getter and a Go-Giver I suggest you give Jason a call.)

What did I learn from achieving “guru” status? That everyone is a guru!

Not only have I learned from my friends who have achieved guru status in the eyes of the many, I learn as much or more from the “secret gurus” whose worth has yet to be acknowledged. Let me give you a partial list in no particular order of the gurus who have touched my life in the last week. Some you’ve heard of and some you haven’t but everyone of them is a guru worth getting to know.

Kevin Pannebecker, Bob Burg, Gill Wagner, Dr. William Payne, Lynne Wilhite, Chad Estes, Rachel Lapin, Wendy Gauntt, Thom Scott, Jeremy Nulik, Mercedes Bartlett, Tom Gillaspie, David Meyer, Dan Klein, Brian Schwartz, Chuck Hart, Scott Ginsberg, David Garland, Greg Younger, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero, Bob Sommers, Ruth Binger, Tammy Dutton, John David Mann and Jason Thomas. That’s right, everyone of these people contributed to my success in just the last week!

We all have knowledge and expertise to share. We all have secrets, wisdom, insights and enlightenment that we have accumulated.

Which means we all have the ability to add value to all of our relationships. And that is the first step on the path to stratospheric success!

Put your best foot forward (actually either foot will do just fine), you can reach stratospheric heights and “rise to the top” without ever setting foot on a mountain.