CREDIT FOR IMAGE AND POEM ABOVE -
Katrina Plumb, Chief Poet and Inspirer at Writing Tank

Some people make resolutions, some people choose mantras – my years have themes.

I don’t make conscious decisions about these themes. I don’t really think about them at all. But for the last five years, around the first of the year, I’ll say something, or hear something, or write something, and a quiet little voice will whisper, “There is your theme for the year – beginning right NOW!”

As the end of 2011 inched closer, and 2012 peeked over the horizon and raised an eyebrow at me to say she was getting curious about what I planned to do with her, my thoughts turned to dreams.

My theme for 2011 was “Embracing my Inner Pollyanna.” The year had started with a fanfare of high notes; wonderful clients doing meaningful work, an inner circle of dear friends that included an amazing man I’d been married to for nearly 25 years and continued to love even after we separated, a relationship with a new love I thought I would happily spend the rest of my life with, a head full of ideas for bringing new life and light to entrepreneurism and a heart full of gratitude for all the love and possibilities I saw in my present and my future.

I’d spent much of 2011 on “dream work,” helping other people clarify and realize their dreams. I’d been training a group of Certified Go-Giver Coaches to use the Stratospheric Success Mapping process I’d developed, and Dynamite Live, an event I’d hosted in October, was focused on “putting your dream in drive and you in the driver’s seat,” including a Big Dream Gathering with Mitch Matthews.

As I cast my mind toward the next twelve months, I thought about my dreams – the ones I’d seen realized, and the ones I’d watched slip through my fingers.

My dream of “exploding entrepreneurship” flourished, but my dream of creating products went nowhere. My dream of having even deeper relationships with like-hearted people was realized in ways I could never have imagined, but the relationship with the one I had imagined to be my soul-mate soured. I’d dreamed of finishing a business book on my Blast Thru Coaching™ method, instead I was nearly finished with a book of pseudo-fiction that had nothing at all do to with business. My dream of speaking at an event that had been in my heart-space for four years came true, but left me empty. However, I hosted my own event, a dream I’d never dreamed, coming true in amazing fashion and touching many lives.

Sorting through – celebrating dreams realized, laying to rest dreams relinquished, selecting dreams worthy of future commitment – I began to picture each dream as having physical form. From that grew a post on choosing the dreams to keep in the “closet” and letting go of dreams that no longer “fit.”

And there was my theme for 2012 – “The Year of Dreaming True.”

Following my sharing the post and my 2012 theme on Facebook, I received this question from a friend and amazing thought-instigator, Katrina Plumb (who sent me a couple of challenges – one of which I’ve featured above.)

She posted to my Facebook wall, “I’m trying to figure out what you plan to do with dreams this year. So tell us, is there such a thing as ‘dreaming false’?” 

Katrina is a beautiful thinker and poet, she often hands me conundrums like glittering, tangled chains, and I can’t rest until I’ve straightened them out in my mind.  But this was more like a can of Silly Putty – it said “Here I am, DO something with me. I DARE ya!”

Can we have ‘false dreams?’ If not all dreams are true, then some dreams must be false, right?

To explore the notion of dreaming true or false, I had to examine my understanding of dreams – and my understanding of truth.

What does it mean to “have a dream?”

As in, “Last night I had the strangest dream?”

Or, “Dreaming my life away?”

Or perhaps we refer to the unforgettable line, “I have a dream!”

Do we mean dreams born of the sleeping subconscious mind, the waking semi-conscious mind, or the wide-awake intentional mind?

Sometimes those thoughts and ideas reach us awake, sometimes they wait until we relax our mental barriers and surrender to sleep. And sometimes we craft those ideas into visions and plans that we are willing to devote energy to bringing to fruition.

What is a dream if not simply a thought, an idea, a mental representation of something we believe is not presently real?

So what constitutes a true dream as opposed to a false one?

Have you ever had a nightmare? It’s just a dream, right? But it’s a dream you would never want to have come true.

Have you ever had an idea or a thought that wasn’t true for YOU? Something you knew was a leftover recording of someone else’s judgment, or a belief cultivated by society, or a deep-seated fear?

What is true if not what you choose to accept and to own?

And what is false, if not what you choose to reject and refuse to make a part of your reality?

So to answer Katrina’s beautifully illustrated question to me:

Do you really think the dreamer escapes?
Really detaches from egotistic
Energies and joins a great agenda
Accumulated by other powers, Up
Miles away, beyond time and distance,
FREE!

I think it is in dreams, all kinds of dreams, that we do escape our egotistic energies and our surface one-life-to-live agendas. I think that we are those “other powers” and it is in dreaming true that we join with our own divine agenda, take ourselves up beyond time and distance, and become truly free.

So what is a “true dream?” I think it is simply a thought, an idea, a mental representation of something we believe is not true for us now, but which we desire to make true.

What is a “dream come true?” I think it is the manifestation, the realization, the actualization, the awareness that what we desired is our reality.

I think that’s why we call it “living the dream.”

And I’m getting rid of a lot.

Of dreams.

Not because they are too big.

Not because they are too small either.

But because they aren’t right for me.

Here we are, about to begin another year. Arguably, we begin a new year every day. But we, the “civilized people of the Western World” have chosen to designate January 1 as the beginning of a New Year, and it’s as good a date as any to spend in celebration and contemplation.

(Side note: birthdays are also good. Sundays too. As are Wednesdays and anniversaries and days of no consequence whatsoever except that they are your days to do with as you choose.)

So, in this week of celebration and contemplation leading up to the magical moment when the clock is reset and time begins anew, I spent some time reviewing my dreams.

They looked a lot like my closet often looks – some spots on the rack crowded with bright colors and rich neutrals while other spots show gaps where favorite wear-so-often-they-never-make-it-back-to-the-closet pieces are supposed to be. Fancy-frillies are hung at the far end where they are seldom noticed, while walk-the-dog hoodies snuggle up to speak-to-roomfuls-of-people jackets and skirts.

I gave myself the same challenge I periodically use to clean out my closet – “If you haven’t worn it in a year, if you don’t like the way it looks on you, if it worked for that one occasion but that occasion won’t ever come again, should it be taking up space in here?”

When addressing my closet, that usually results in a storm of fabric flying from racks to boxes, shoes thudding into donation bins, belts and purses pelting down from high shelves to join them.

I’ll pause now and again, running my fingers over some beautiful thing before I reluctantly admit it just isn’t “me.” Or wiping a tear as I lay some cherished, but no longer useful, item in the to-be-donated box, remembering when I bought it, where I wore it, the emotional threads inseparable from the silk and cotton.

But the time comes – I have to let them go.

Because, really, that burnt orange shade is hideous on me.

That cocktail dress is pretty, but I don’t want to go anywhere that I would wear it.

That jacket looks good, but I’m always fussing with the sleeves.

That old thing really IS an old thing – it’s worn thin with frequent wearing and washing and no miracle will make it look good again.

When I purge my closets I let go of anything that doesn’t serve me, whether it fits me or doesn’t.

Time to do the same with my dreams.

That dream that someone else thought was perfect for me? Gone.

The one that was so bright and full of possibility, until it went through the wringer a couple of times? Gone.

The one I so wanted to believe was real, until I saw the “faux” on the label? (That’s okay for leather and fur, but NOT okay for dreams.) Gone.

All boxed up and ready for someone else to pick up and wear.

So what is left?

The true dreams. Not the dreams already come true, but the dreams that are truly mine.

Are some of them too big for me now? Sure. But I love them enough to grow into them.

Are some of them so bright and bold that I have a moment of doubt, wondering if others will judge me for choosing them? Sure. But I love how I feel when I wear them, and that is the only judgment that matters.

Are some of them a little revealing? Sure. But I have nothing to hide.

I’m keeping only the dreams that make me feel good, that make me feel like the me I like best. I’m keeping the dreams that make me feel like dancing, like running, like jumping for joy.

Everything else has to go.

Because when you choose your dreams, it isn’t about dreaming big.

It’s about dreaming true.

For you.

I wasn’t Jewish.

Or Muslim.

Nor were my parents atheists, not by any definition of the word.

We were Christians. We just didn’t observe the religious holidays associated with that faith.

My parents explained to me that it was because the observations – the rituals, traditions and religious rites – associated with the Christian holidays were adapted from the pagans.

Besides, they said, even if Christ had been born on December 25^th, we didn’t need one day of the year to celebrate his birth; they celebrated his life and death every day in everything they did.

I accepted that. But my child’s heart still yearned to believe in the magic of Santa and his elves. My storybook habit fed my imagination tales that ranged from the ironic sacrifices of the The Gift of the Magi to Jo March surrendering her one vanity in order to provide a fitting Christmas for her beloved sisters.

I couldn’t wait until I grew up and could have a tree of my own, decorated just the way I dreamed it. I would sit and watch it twinkle from my cozy chair by a roaring fire with a cup of hot cocoa or cider in hand. I pictured the friends who would gather, the songs we would sing, the laughs we would share. We’d pull taffy and make chains of popcorn and berries for the tree. We’d light candles and kiss under the mistletoe. Oh, when I grew up, I would have a Christmas that no one would ever forget!

And I did have many grown up Christmases. One year we even went out into the woods (well, not really, woods are scarce in Kansas so we went into the pasture) and cut down our own tree. Our big yellow dog, Saffron, went along and chased bunnies into the thickets and escorted us and our tree back to the car with a cheery wave of his plumy tail. I had parties, and friends. I had lights and laughter.

And I finally unwrapped the gift of growing up, a child who never had a Christmas.

I didn’t need Christmas. I just needed friends and fun, lights and laughter.

I didn’t need rituals. I just needed traditions of showing my love for the people who matter most in my life.

I didn’t need gifts. I just needed shared experiences, seconds glimpsed through a single lens by me and even one other person.

I had everything I needed. I always did. Christmas was just one way of experiencing and expressing what was already mine.

I love the beauty of the pagan rites, whether they are celebrated through the Christian interpretation or some other. They are expressions of the laughter, light and love that we all need to live. They remind us of our spiritual oneness and our spiritual wholeness. They speak to us of themes that are infinite and eternal – rebirth, giving and receiving, peace and lovingkindness.

But I don’t need them to experience my spirituality or to acknowledge the meaning these themes have for me.

I have said that I believe rituals are anchors – physical symbols and routines we use to anchor ourselves in the meaning that underlies the ritual.  They are only powerful when the ritual has meaning.

If the ritual is an expectation, of giving and accepting gifts, of cooking the feast and doing the dishes, of standing in lines and signing the cards, and sending polite “thank yous” for things we didn’t need or want -then that becomes the anchor. That becomes what follows us from holiday to holiday, gathering to gathering, tradition to tradition.

Having had my dreams of Christmases come true, I no longer count the day itself as special. I do, however, count the meaning it has to me as essential in the fabric of my life. I enjoy sharing the rituals of others, they speak to me because of my bond with the people celebrating them. But it is the bond that matters, not the ritual.

I was a child without Christmas, I am now an adult blessed with everything that Christmas stood for when I stood on the outside looking in.

Whatever ritual ties you to the experience and expression of peace and light and love – I hope you will celebrate it as an anchor. I hope that you will pin it to yourself like that post-it note of vital information that’s pinned to your bulletin board at home or at the office.

Gifts don’t need a reason or a season.

Because every season is a season of the heart – and the gift of your heart is the greatest gift you will ever give or receive.

I wish you happy happy, merry merry, joy joy, today and every day!

In a previous post, which included my answer to what The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy author, Douglas Adams, called “The Ultimate Question of Life the Universe and Everything,” I mentioned that we’d be revisiting the question, and the answer.

Over the course of his series of novels, Adams takes us on a hilarious journey with his unlikely hero, Arthur Dent. Dent is a survivor of the planet Earth which, we learn, was actually built as a complex computer to discover the Ultimate Question. Another computer, Deep Thought, had been built to determine the Ultimate Answer, and after seven and a half million years had reached a conclusion.

The Ultimate Answer, Deep Thought said, was 42.

When the beings who had set about to learn the answer protested that they didn’t know what it meant, they were told it was because they didn’t understand the QUESTION.

Earth was then designed to uncover to Ultimate Question, but before a conclusion could be drawn, the Earth was destroyed by Vogons. The beings seeking this Ultimate Question and Answer, which look exactly like creatures we know as mice, decide they don’t want to wait another eight million years and settle on an arbitrary question; “How many roads must a man walk down?”

So now we know that a man must walk down 42 roads – but we still don’t know which roads, or where he’ll end up.

As farcical as this may seem, (and as Adams no doubt meant it to be) it illustrates one of the greatest fallacies we ever buy into.

That fallacy is the idea that someone else’s answer is a solution for our problem.

I have had clients who just wanted answers. They wanted someone to tell them what to do: which of the 42 roads to walk down next. They wanted to use someone else’s magic wand to magically solve their own problems.

Certainly, I could give them answers. And they would be the right answers to some questions. But they may not be the right answers to the client’s questions.

In order to arrive at answers that are meaningful and applicable, we have to be asking the right questions. That’s why my process always begins with coaching (the questioning phase) even when I will be doing business consulting (the recommendation and answer phase.)

It might be an extreme example, but in my previous post I said “sometimes love is the only sensible response.”

That answer is true for me, it answers the questions I was asking at the time. (And I’ll be writing more about the questions I was asking and why that answer is so powerful and not at all extreme for me.)

But unless you know your own question, “love” might have as much meaning as “42.” Because without the Ultimate Question, you won’t know how to APPLY the Ultimate Answer, rendering the whole exercise as futile (and a lot less amusing) as Adam’s story.

Right now, many of us are  examining both life and business, gearing up for 2012.

I hope that before you look for answers, you’ll take the time to ask the meaningful questions. The results might be surprising.

But so often we close ourselves to our own magic and look to others for the transformations we want to create in our selves and in our businesses.

So I offer all prospects and clients a full disclaimer – “I do not have magic wands or magic pills. This transformation is going to take work on your part.”

Of course, we DO work magic together when the fit is right – and the resulting explosions are just as exciting and fulfilling for me as they are for the people I work with.

That’s because I’m working in MY “magic circle” – that place in the wizard’s diagram where gifts, talents, experience, expertise, and LOVE all intersect.

It took me a lot of years and botched recipes in the cauldron to find that intersection.

I’ve strayed from the circle a few times – and every time I’ve been reminded of how quickly the magic fades outside of that zone. And when I come back to working only in that place, I’m reminded of just how powerful that magic can be.

In a blast thru coaching session yesterday, I had a conversation with someone who is searching for HIS “magic circle.”

He isn’t alone – I talk with so many of you who don’t feel the magic when you’re doing what you do. Or, who feel the explosions, but don’t see the financial reward. (And the reward is part of the magic – wouldn’t you agree?)

So, what if you could wave a magic wand and suddenly be standing in your “magic circle?”

I haven’t figured out how to make it THAT easy! But I do know what it takes to find the magic wand that will illuminate that circle so that you CAN step into it.

I call it “igniting your light” – it’s finding the connection between

• Passion (that inner fire that lights you up,)
• Purpose (the changes, outcomes and impact you’re here to create,) and
• Presence (the visibility and attractiveness to draw others into your circle with you.)

Passion + Purpose + Presence = Magic Wand of Illumination 

I find that most people abdicate their “magic” in one of two ways:

• They give up searching for their “magic circle” and just do what they know how to do even if it doesn’t light them up at all. (They don’t connect passion and purpose.)
• Or, having located the “magic circle,” they say “I don’t know how to work in that place.” Then they go on doing something that doesn’t light them up, or doing something that does light them up, but in a way that is not financially rewarding. (They don’t successfully bring their passion and purpose into their presence.)

I want to share the exercises I use with clients to ignite that “magic wand” and illuminate their “magic circle.” But I want to share them with you only if you really WANT your own magic wand.

This isn’t a “if you’re serious you’ll hire me” message. It’s a “if you’re serious you’ll take STEPS” message.

Please don’t ask for these exercises unless you’re going to take STEPS toward working in your own “magic circle.” If you’re ready, really ready to ignite your own magic wand just send me an email at dixie@dixiedynamitecoaching.com and type MAGIC WAND in the subject line.

Yours for the asking. How magical is that?

I’ve been quiet lately.

There is precedent for that, but I’ll admit it isn’t a frequent occurrence.

The last time must have been when I was about three. So I don’t remember much about it.

But I’ve heard stories.

Mostly from my mother. She was there.

In her story, I was nattering on about something arcane (arcane, at least, to a grown up.)

She never did say what I was on about. For all I know, I was theorizing about “Life, the Universe, and Everything” even back then.

My mother must have found my theories about as meaningful as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (in which, if you remember, the computer, “Deep Thought,” was asked to provide an answer for Life, the Universe and Everything and yielded an answer of “42.” More on that later…) At any rate, her motherly patience finally ran out.

“Dixie,” she said, (or at least this is what she says she said,) would you PLEASE say something sensible?”

According to her version of the story, I was quiet for some time.

Then, in a small voice, I said, “I love you Mommy, is that sensible?”

It makes a great punch line. For as long as I heard her tell that story, I’ve gotten teased about how, even as a baby, I knew how to wrap people around my little finger.

But I know me better now than I did then. And I think, just maybe, I gave it some “deep thought” and returned the only answer I could think of. The only sensible answer anyway.

Love, when it really IS love and not the things we often mistake for love, such as need, desire, security, ego, or other forms of attachment, is the purest, most transformative force we can access or encounter. Children know that.

Several decades later, I’m still contemplating Life, the Universe, and Everything.

I decided to be quiet until I had something sensible to say.

Here it is…

Sometimes love is the only sensible response.

Life happens. Return and reconnect to the heart of it.

Life changes. Hold tight to the love and release your expectations.

Life ends… No, truly it doesn’t. But because life as we know it can end – never miss a chance to speak your heart.

Even when you don’t understand the question.

Love is still the sensible response.

P.S. There is more to this thought. But it will have to wait until I sort it out.

P.P.S. Thank you to my friends and readers who have missed my voice and let me hear about it.

P.P.P.S. Yes, that somber tyke is/was me. Probably the only baby picture of me without a smile.

 Three days that will take you from head-in-the-clouds dreaming to roll-up-your-sleeves doing! Come with your dreams and enthusiasm, leave with a clear course of action and a new success structure of resources, friends and mentors.

My personal commitment to you ~ Dixie Gillaspie

If you read “Your Why” you already know why you’d want to join us for Dynamite Live! You’re probably wondering what you can expect from Dynamite Live and how we’re going to deliver on that commitment of “Putting your dreams in drive and YOU in the driver’s seat!”

REGISTER NOW

Since 1987 I have attended, presented and facilitated more conferences than I can begin to count or remember. This concept grew from what I believe is a combination of the most powerful elements of all those experiences. It was further developed, improved and generally set on fire, by my professional fellowship, a peer-directed mastermind (yes, we’re going to teach you how to create, develop and leverage groups like this) that I started with help from dear friends, mentors and colleagues, Bill Ellis and Tom Ruwitch.

We’ve all been to other events, many of us are conference junkies, so we vowed to create an event that delivers what we, as entrepreneurs just like you, want from conferences and so seldom get.

What You Can Expect

• High caliber information without hype or ego
• Delivered by presenters who are not just high-power and high-energy,but are also high-credibility – they’ve walked in our shoes and accomplished what we need to accomplish
• Opportunities to plan and implement before we hit the wall of information overload
• Guidance from field experts who can answer burning questions and get in the trenches while we do the work
• Interaction that builds fellowship and camaraderie with presenters, coaches, and participants
• Complete transparency about how to get more value from the presenters after the event is over
• Conference pricing that makes ongoing support affordable, but no pressure to purchase anything during the event or ever

 How We Deliver

We didn’t invite presenters because they had big names – we invited them because they have big dreams, big accomplishments, and most importantly, big hearts. Luckily, we knew some BIG names who met our even bigger criteria. In fact, all of the presenters, and most of our coaches, were part of my “Dynamite Dialogs” project – 13 explosive interviews, success story after success story, gem after gem. It was this collection of stories and insights that started me on the path of creating the Five Essential Elements – Success Story Design course which will launch at this event!

We built our schedule and topics around a central theme; The Five Essential Elements in Every Success Story.” No more disjointed jumping from track to track as you go through the conference – at Dynamite Live we’ll take you on a journey from falling in love with your dream, tapping into your own personal power, creating and communicating with your fellowship and your fan following and finally, nailing down next steps so you’ll already be walking out your dream, on the path to success, before you leave the conference!

We didn’t want to create another conference where you sit, stupefied while expert after expert blows your mind with their knowledge then pitches you a top dollar package where you will learn what you really need to know to pursue your dreams. So instead, we created Dynamite Live – an event where we work with you to “blast thru brick walls” by combining inspiration and insight from the stage in equal measure with implementation and internalization in small group sessions and masterminding. 

And about those packages, I’ve asked all of our coaches to put together a killer “Fireworks Menu” of coaching packages at a very affordable price point. We’re going to be completely transparent about everything you’re offered, you’ll have a “Fireworks Menu” with your registration packet so you can start planning your next steps and selecting your support team immediately.

Just one more word about pricing – I work with entrepreneurs and I know some of the financial challenges you’ve been facing. When I asked The St. Patrick Center to be one of our charity sponsors I said, I need to make this event so no-brainer affordable that the people who need to be here won’t have to think twice! At an Early Explosion price of $199 (which includes most of your meals!) I think they really came through for us, don’t you?

Are you someone who “needs to be here?” If you are I hope you’re making that commitment to yourself right now to “Meet me in St. Louis!”

REGISTER NOW 

During a recent presentation of my keynote, “Blasting Thru Brick Walls,” I gave examples of the four types of walls people build;

1. Circumstances
2. Style
3. Consequences
4. Design 

I was chatting with some of the audience members afterward and one of them said, “My brick wall is procrastination, what category does that fit in?”

Instant silence. All eyes turned to me. Clearly there was more than one person who wanted an answer to that question.

Procrastination, I explained, is not a brick wall. It’s a symptom of a brick wall. I mean, think about it – if you knew that moving forward was going to cause you to bang your head against a brick wall you’d put it off as long as possible, wouldn’t you?

Here are just a FEW of the problems that show up as procrastination – I could write an entire BOOK on this, but I don’t have time for that (which means I’m going to PROCRASTINATE doing it – see how that works?) But this will be enough to get you thinking about the walls that might be causing you to “put off til tomorrow what you would have BENEFITED from doing today!”

Keep in mind that most of these aren’t CONSCIOUS “notes to self.” This is the subtext behind your choosing to fill your time with something other than the thing you know you NEED to do to get where you WANT to be.

Let’s start with examples of the wall of Circumstance – the “I can’t do that right now” statement.

If I wait I might have more… money, time, focus…

If I wait I might be skinnier, smarter, more successful…

If I wait I might be more confident, educated, credentialed…

But WAIT – aren’t those all where you WANT to go? How are you going to go there without doing what you NEED to do?

What about the wall of Style – the “I can’t do it that way” statement?

If you’ve never taken the Kolbe A Assessment(TM) you may not realize how important knowing your personal STYLE is to being productive.

Kathy Kolbe, the theorist and scientific mind behind the Kolbe Wisdom says “Procrastination is the minds’ way of protecting itself from what it does not do NATURALLY.” Her mantra (mine too) is “Change your LIFE, not your SELF!” 

We’re all hard-wired to do things a certain way, and if you’re forcing yourself to do it in a way that isn’t natural you’ll keep putting it off because your subsconsious mind says…

If I wait I might discover an easier way to do it!

Of course, your “conative” abilities aren’t the ONLY style challenge you’ll have. (Conative, along with cognitive and affective, is one of the parts of the mind – it’s the striving instinct that says “do it THIS way or else.” It’s also what is measured by the Kolbe Assessments.)

But anything you ask yourself to do that is unnatural or far outside your comfort zone is likely to get put off for a LOT of tomorrows.

The wall of Consequences is a HUGE culprit in causing procrastination. This is the “I can’t do that because if I do THIS will happen” statement.

Every choice we make comes with an opportunity cost. If you commit to one thing other things get crossed off as possibilities. If you went to the Cardinals’ playoff game you missed the concert. If you bought that new couch you had to put off buying the new grill.

Every step taken in one direction is a step NOT taken in another direction.

But if you put off taking steps where do you think you’ll end up?

Which leaves the wall of Design – the “I can’t do it EXACTLY the way I have it pictured so I can’t do it at all” statement.

Oh boy – perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand. They’re twin souls. Maybe Siamese Twins. Joined and separable only by a miracle. Right?

If it’s GOT to be a certain way, and you’re not convinced you are ready or able to make it that way, you’ll NOT do it for as long as you can get away with it.

(Ever wonder why I post so infrequently? Writing is one of the FEW things I am a perfectionist about. I go through a little agony every time I click “Publish.”)

So what to do to cure procrastination?

First step is to define the OUTCOME of doing whatever it is you’re NOT doing. Is it getting fit? Or maybe getting rich. Or maybe just getting STARTED!

Remember it is NOT getting the lawn mowed (it’s having a neatly mowed lawn) and it’s NOT having the thank you cards written (it’s one more level of relationship development with everyone who will receive one of those cards.)

When you are clear about the OUTCOME use it to fill in this blank – “What I really want is…”

Now you’re ready for the “blasting caps.”

But this post is getting long and I NEED to click “Publish.” (I promise not to let myself proof it to death – I’m teaching myself to “just release it.”)

So the Blasting Caps will have to wait til the next post.

That will give you time to diagnose your “wall.”

If you don’t procrastinate you’ll have that part all figured out by the time I tell you what to do about it.

I don’t get to say “I don’t believe in the law of gravity, and I’m not going to use it.”

Well, I get to say it, but I’m going to have a hard time proving it. (Richard Bach, author of such best-sellers as “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” and “Illusions; Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” gave me a fantastic – and hilarious – analogy for that in my dialog with him, but that’s a story for another post.)

So if the Law of Attraction is one of those universal laws, then I “use” it in the same way I “use” the law of gravity – it affects my outcomes every second of my life. I either use it mindfully to my advantage, or I ignore it and it rises up to slap me silly every now and again.

I’m still not sure if the creation of Dynamite Live; Putting your dreams in drive and YOU in the driver’s seat is an example of me taking advantage of natural laws or the universe slapping me silly just to teach me a lesson. Only time will tell.

So here’s what happened…

I spoke at an event. That, in and of itself, wasn’t unusual. But this one was that “straw-that-sparked-the-shot-that-was-heard-around-the-world” kind of experience.

I was sitting down with my inner circle mastermind group (if I took a detour to tell you how incredible, unbelievable, amazing… ok, I won’t take that detour right now) and I started making a list of all the things I find frustrating about most conferences that are offered to entrepreneurs.

When I finally took a breath, one of the group (if I ever remember which one that was there WILL be consequences!) said, “So when are you doing your event?”

Lungs fill of oxygen, heart full of indignation, I said, “Oh, I’ll never do an event, but if I DID…” And I went on to describe in glowing detail the kind of event I would want to be part of.

I was eloquent, I was engaged, I was (remember this, it’s important) I was EMOTIONAL. I wanted SOMEBODY to make this event happen so I could be part of it, even just to be in the audience.

I was DETAILED (also important) about what the event would (and would not) include, the experience the participants would have and the outcomes they would achieve before they left.

I could SEE me (you guessed it, also important) at this dream event. Hugging people, listening to people share their stories, their dreams, their wisdom. Laughing with joy at all the “ah ha moments.” Crying… Nope, I didn’t see myself crying. But you get the picture – I was INTO it!

When I came up for air again every one of my friends, mentors, mastermind members (and sometime tormentors) was grinning from ear to ear and again one of them said, “So, when are you doing your event?”

Now that plans for Dynamite Live are coming together, excitement is building and registrations are coming in, I realize that I threw down a gauntlet to the Universe and the Universe laughingly took the challenge.

Tonight I was rereading bits of Mike Dooley’s “Manifesting Change” and it became crystal clear. (Yeah, he’s the guy behind TUT, Notes from the Universe – love those emails!)

First, our minds don’t understand negatives. The famous example of “Don’t think of a blue elephant” comes to mind. (Did you really read that without picturing, even fleetingly, a blue elephant?) So when I said “I’ll never do an event” my mind heard “Do an event.”

The Universe must have added “do an event” to my Stratospheric Success Map right then. And all those details I painted were, to the Universe, one big “to-do” list.

Second, in “Manifesting Change” Mike Dooley references one of the aspects of the Law of Attraction that is pretty much universally accepted, “Emotion is the turbocharger of change; our emotions supercharge the thoughts associated with them.”

So I may not have been attaching emotion to the thought of my doing my own event, but I was extremely emotionally bonded with the kind of event I wanted to be part of. Clearly, the Universe thought that was close enough.

Third, I put myself in the picture. Not as the event planner and host, but I was definitely “all in!”

The real clencher though, was when my coach, mastermind partner, dear friend and soul sister, Manifestation Maven, Kimberly Schneider, fed my own words back to me. (The Universe is not above using your dearest friends and dealing a low blow now and again.)

I had shared with her a story of a client who burst into tears literally 15 minutes into our first session because when she shared with me that she was frustrated at the lack of fellowship and support groups for her profession I said, “Sometimes when we cannot find what we need it is because it is given to us to create it.”

That’s exactly what Kimberly quoted back to me, in her gentle, uplifting voice, “Sometimes when we cannot find what we need it is because it is given to us to create it.” 

There was dead silence. I think they were all holding their breaths to see if I would cry. Instead I laughed. What else could I do?

What I chose to do was to rise to that challenge. The Universe, Source, God, Destiny, Highest Right… whatever you call that inner voice that guides us when we cannot see our way spoke to me in my own words almost two years ago; now it’s time to live by them.

You’ll notice I’ve listed three tips for “using” the Law of Attraction. I don’t teach manifestation or the Law of Attraction – I’ll leave that to Kimberly. She’ll be presenting material from her new book, “Everything You Need is Right Here” at Dynamite Live so direct those questions to her.

But I do “use” the Law of Attraction, just as surely as I use the laws of physics. And, unless I miss my guess, so do you.

 

“There is a deeper wound when people don’t hear our words of affection. There is a greater loss when people don’t hear our praise. It’s a loss for them, and we’re diminished by it because there’s something… a certain level of grieving when we know that our expression of ‘I love you’ has fallen on deaf ears. That hurts at the soul level.”

Trey Pennington, From the Dynamite Dialogs (complete audio below)

 

As many of you know, our world is short a storyteller.

And all of us, his friends, fans, followers and family, are hurting at the soul level. Because we know that our expressions of “I love you” were not enough.

After Trey’s first attempt to end his life was made public, I sent him an email. We weren’t close friends, although we shared a stage and many core values, our paths did not cross often. But a story he told to me during a conversation we had while preparing to record a dialog for a product I was launching kept coming back to me. It was so poignant, so powerful and so clearly something Trey was passionate about, that I asked him to repeat it when we recorded that dialog.

It was the story of Amanda. A little girl he’d known at Hidden Treasure school, Amanda was considered “non-verbal/non-communicative.” And yet, she managed to communicate her feelings to Trey in a way that he never forgot.

I emailed him a reminder of that story. I said “people are trying to tell you something, are you listening?”

In the end, as you know, the voices in his head were louder than all the “I love yous” that were being shouted and whispered, emailed and posted. We were all “Amandas” – as he said in the dialog, “We are all non-verbal/non-communicative.”

I listened to our conversation again after a friend sent a DM on twitter alerting me that he was gone. I’d clicked through the photo album he posted only hours before and wondered what was in his mind. But as many have noted, the posts leading up to that morning’s decision indicated a positive outlook. I thought about how we weren’t getting his message and he wasn’t getting ours. Non-verbal/non-communicative indeed.

Trey was best known as a social media expert and advocate, and in the dialog you’ll hear his passion for that medium coming through loud and clear.

“Turning Communication into Conversation” with Trey Pennington