It lifts to greet the foothills of Colorado and the Flint Hills of Kansas. It sings when it senses the rhythms of the muddy Mississippi or the Pacific coming up against a rocky coast or a stretch of sand. It skips a beat in recognition of the beauty of a city park or a country garden in full bloom.

In each of those places, there is a bit of my heart that whispers, “This is home.”

But it splits wide open when I go back to the prairie.

Yes, I’m still a Kansas girl at heart.

The open spaces, as stark as they might seem to the uninitiated eye, are rich with life. The wheat and grasses undulate as entrancingly as any sea, and the straight line winds will blow the cobwebs from your mind as surely as any luxurious massage.

I’m posting this from the road.

Headed for Kansas.

Technically, this is the first stop on the Just Blow It Up book tour.

Symbolically, this is a big piece of my life coming full circle.

Although I was raised in Kansas, it was 1996, early in my medical consulting career, when I first visited McPherson, Kansas.  I was there to provide an analysis for Dr. William Payne’s dental practice.  Sitting down with Dr. Payne and his wife, Teresa, to discuss my findings and recommendations, none of could have guessed that we were embarking on a journey that would take us from consultant and client, to friends, to “family of choice.”

It was Dr. Payne who started me on the path of becoming the inaugural Certified Go-Giver Coach and the Master Coach for the Certified Go-Giver Coach Program. When he asked me to construct workshops to teach The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success as part of his staff training program it set the wheels in motion that would lead me to create a coaching program that became The Go-Giver Success Accelerator.

It was Dr. Payne and his team who gave me the opportunity to hone my personal development and coaching talents alongside my management consulting skills. And when he sold his practice, it was Dr. Payne and Teresa and their three kids who made sure I knew that I always had a family to come home to even though I no longer traveled to McPherson every month to coach and consult in his practice.

It was Dr. Payne who introduced me to Annette Karr.

Now, it is Annette who is bringing me back to McPherson.

And it feels like going home.

When I was preparing to launch Just Blow It Up, my publisher, Sound Wisdom, asked if there was a cause or charity I’d like to work with.

My heart holds space for as many causes as it does places to call home. And there are many groups I want to help “just blow up” some walls. But the first group that came to mind was the kids who spend their days, and often a lot of nights too, in hospital beds. Kids with cancer, with heart disease, with leukemia, with missing limbs, with every kind of medical problem you can imagine, and often with the best attitude and the most brilliant smile you can imagine as well.

If there is any group that needs to believe that “nothing is impossible,” it’s these kids and the people who love them.

My next thought was for Annette, whose book (written on behalf of her French Poodle, Wink) is the story of a little dog who was born with an imperfection, and not much chance at life. In spite of being born too early, and having one eye that had to be removed, Wink has proven his worth time and time again as he and Annette take their message of “You are worth a million” into schools and community centers. He reminds kids and adults alike that, no matter how imperfect we appear to be on the outside, we are each unique and precious and “worth a million.”

I knew I wanted my launch plan to include donating that book, Wink the One-Eyed Wonder, to the hospitals where those kids spend the boring, anxious, often pain-filled hours having procedures that leave them bald, scarred, on crutches or in wheelchairs.

Sound Wisdom offered to help fund my dream, and this weekend it begins to come true.

I’ll be joining Annette, Wink, and “the 100 followers of Wink” in the McPherson County Centennial All-Schools Cay Parade on Friday. (Article on the parade and Wink HERE) Then it’s off to Wichita’s St. Francis Hospital to deliver the first batch of books to be donated, followed by more donations to the Ronald McDonald house nearby.

On Saturday, Annette, Wink and I will be signing copies of our respective books at The Bookshelf in McPherson. Information on the signing is HERE.

On Sunday morning, I’ll be delivering a few words as part of a Mother’s Day service, and holding a discussion and book signing in the afternoon.

It seems right to celebrate my first public signings in Kansas, and have Annette and Wink celebrating with me.

It is, in fact, not only right. It’s perfect. Because Kansas may not be what some people call “perfectly beautiful,” but it is what I call “home.”

*You’ll find stories from Dr. Payne, and Annette and Wink in Just Blow It Up. Because they sure know how to blow up some walls, and they’ve taught me some things I just had to share with you.

The post Perfect is Where the Heart Is appeared first on Dixie Gillaspie.

I’d taken Sunday away from the computer and all news channels, spending the day with those I love (including a couple of furry critters) so I didn’t know about the explosions in Boston until Monday morning. I’m sure I wasn’t alone in checking the Facebook profiles of the runners I know – hoping that none of them decided to run the Boston this year. And feeling a little guilty at the immense relief I felt at reading their status updates – shock and prayers for those affected, but all of them safely out of the danger zone.  Because I know that the fact that no one I know and love was harmed doesn’t reduce the impact that this has on all of us. Because I know that the ripples of any event touch us all.

And our responses to any event cause ripples that touch us all as well.

With social media, those ripples move faster.

This short post from Redfin CEO, Glenn Kelman, first caught my eye on twitter, although it was originally posted on Linked In. I’ve since seen it show up on Facebook (and have shared it there myself.) It is so widespread I could not begin to estimate the extent of the ripples emanating from that one “stone.”

But I do believe that the last lines, which read, “And I wondered what would happen to all that love. I hope it never goes away,” are a stone that will continue to cause ripples for years.

Because, even if no one ever reads that post after this week – it’s clear in the comments below the post and the comments of those who shared it – that thought has caused people to wonder, to hope, to shift. People are rooting for that love, cheering it on.

What does happen to love? The outpouring we see at joyful events like the end of Glenn’s 2011 Boston run, or incomprehensibly tragic events like this year’s Boston Marathon – where does that love go when there is nothing to bring about its expression?

I believe it never goes anywhere.

Because love isn’t something that CAN go away – it exists within us, not outside of us. It’s only the outward expression that seems to be missing from our day-to-day existence.

Notice I say, “seems to be missing.”

Because it’s there. It shows up in little ways, the smile of a stranger, the shared joke at the checkout counter, the free coffee in the drive-though lane, offered just because the customer paid the staff a compliment. Those are experiences I’ve had, seen, or heard about in just the last week.

Love is never missing. It just goes unexpressed and unnoticed.

Without the big event, the celebration or tragedy, we forget to express the love within us, and fail to notice the love around us.

But what if… if we allow ourselves to express more love, won’t we have room to accept more love?

And if we accept more love, isn’t it true that we don’t have as much room for other things – like helplessness, and hate, and hurt.

Maybe, if we learned to pay attention, to notice when love is shown, and accept it at face value, we’d have more reason to express love “without calculation or reservation” as we celebrate together instead of as we mourn.

I think that is the “marathon” Glenn proposes that we run together.

From that post:

Until I’d run the Boston Marathon, I had no idea that an entire city could, without calculation or reservation, express so much love.

That’s what I thought about when I saw the explosion, and the police who ran toward the scene rather than away from it. I grieved for the runners and spectators who had been hurt or killed. And I wondered what would happen to all that love.

I hope it never goes away.

This was, in a “no-coincidences” fashion, the Daily Dose of Dynamite that went out that Monday morning. These are, as most of you would have guessed, written and loaded days in advance – so it wasn’t a commentary on the Boston Marathon. But I couldn’t write anything better after knowing what had happened than I did when I entered that email several days ago…

“The human spirit is stronger than human nature. The worst that human nature can dish out, the human spirit can overcome.”

I’ve had my chances to test that theory, and I’ll bet you have too. But history – mine, yours, and that of the whole human race – says it’s still the truth.

Dixie

www.DailyDoseofDynamite.com

As I began to receive responses from readers asking me if that was intended as a comment on events in Boston, I had to ask myself if I still believed it to be true. Yes, I do. More than ever.

Because the human spirit has an unlimited capacity for love.

The post A Boston Marathoner’s Question – “Where Does the Love Go?” appeared first on Dixie Gillaspie.

How you can Escape the Overwhelm Spiral and Create a Circle of Unlimited Growth instead.

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(A little context for those of you in sunny climes or reading this post in some time so far in the future that the weather today is irrelevant. Today is March 24th, and Spring has sprung a winter storm system on the Midwestern states that is predicted to leave us with seven inches or more of snow. )

In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; one of my favorite resources for the wise and the witty, Douglas Adams tells us how to make a problem disappear completely. You simply turn it into an SEP.

Because, you see, SEP stands for “Somebody Else’s Problem.” And when you can make that problem somebody ELSE’S problem it disappears. For you.

That isn’t working for me on this fifth day of spring, watching snowflakes accumulate on the balcony outside my window.

But it works for a lot of problems. Blame it on someone else and, if it doesn’t disappear, at least you’ll get so much sympathy that you can stand to look at it.

Blame it on someone else and, even if you still have to deal with it, it’s not YOUR problem, you’re now the poor martyr who is slogging away under the weight of an SEP.

How important is it for you to “own” your problems?

Let’s just say unless you own your problems you cannot own your life. 

My friend Joe Tye, author of The Florence Prescription, Never Fear Never Quit, and other great books, likens the value of ownership in a company with our mindset about renting a car.

We don’t treat a rental car the way we would one that we own, he points out. Because it belongs to someone else, you aren’t going to even think about taking it in for a check up and oil change. You won’t wash it unless you went off-roading in it and can’t see out of the windshield.

It’s basically an SEP, and you’re paying for the privilege of making its need for oil changes and belt replacements, and even a run through the car wash, an invisible problem for you.

We’ve been hearing about creating an “ownership mindset” in our workforce for many years – I took and taught courses on it at least 20 years ago.

But, while I KNOW that an “ownership mindset” is an essential ingredient in any unstoppable business, I don’t believe that our economy – that is our GLOBAL economy – can be saved by an “ownership mindset” in our workforce.

It’s going to take an “ownership mindset” in our LIFE force.

If our economy is to be saved it’s going to take an “Entrepreneurial Mindset.”

In Just Blow It Up; Firepower for Living an Unlimited Life, I say;

“Our lives are our undertaking; our businesses and careers are simply vehicles by which we achieve our purpose.”

Which is why I also say that it is the “Entrepreneurial Mindset” that will, or at least CAN if enough of us adopt it, save our global economy.

Not entrepreneurism as a business model – but as a way of life.

Not business ownership – but life ownership.

While there are dozens of “gurus” who have their own set of requirements for calling yourself an entrepreneur, here is the literal translation – what the word “entrepreneur” originally meant:

Someone with an entrepreneurial mindset has undertaken their very life. They’ve undertaken responsibility for their choices, their actions, their reactions, and their outcomes.

Even when someone else IS in the wrong, someone with an entrepreneurial mindset doesn’t waste time or energy on blame.

Instead, they invest time and energy on making it right. They OWN the outcomes that matter to them – not just their jobs, not just their businesses, not just their backyards, not just their own country…

They take ownership of the problems that affect their lives; they meet the challenges, they look for solutions.

They don’t say “I saw it, I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t actually do it so I can’t be held accountable.”

They don’t say, “I saw it needed to be done, but it isn’t my job so I didn’t do anything about it.”

They don’t say, “He started it,” or “what she did was waaaay worse.”

They say, “What can I do about it?”

The entrepreneurial mindset says “If I care about how it turns out then I will UNDERTAKE to affect that outcome with everything I have to give.”

Imagine.

If everyone operated out of that mindset.

I think it would solve almost any problem, except maybe the weather!

*I’d love to give photo credit, but it showed up in my Facebook feed shared by so many individuals I couldn’t trace the origin of the photo. But I will give a big THANK YOU to Lisa Hodges Dean whose timeline I pulled it from. 

The post Whose Fault is it Anyway? appeared first on Dixie Gillaspie.

Oh I know, the original quote is “What’s in a name?”

But what is a name, but a word?

What if that word is POWER?

Did I scare you? Sometimes I scare myself.

A chain of events…

- Speaking of names, I got tagged with the nickname “Dixie Dynamite” in the second grade. I hated it. I thought they meant that I was volatile, dangerous, POWERFUL. Translation – “not a nice little girl.”

- I wrote a book. I named it Just Blow it Up: Firepower for Living an Unlimited Life. (It comes out in April 2013.) Kind of a POWERFUL title, wouldn’t you say? It’s loaded with power. I caught myself deflecting it, naming all my sources and not owning the POWER that I contributed. Why?

- I did a live teaching course and turned it into an online self-study program. It’s the methods I use with clients to teach them How to be POWERFUL.

- It includes an audio of one of my conversations with my friend and mentor, Richard Bach.  In it, we talk about POWER – the power we have to hypnotize ourselves into believing we are powerless, the power we have to change our attitudes and choices and create what we desire, the POWER of CONSENT that is always ours, even when we give our power away.

- I also included my Permission Audit process with the two audios of my teaching. That process is designed to help people reclaim their POWER. Yet, I wrestled with the title – even though it’s an exact description of what I wanted to teach. Because I know that POWER turns a lot of people off.

- In researching SEO keywords for that course page, we looked up the title. How to be POWERFUL ranked so highly in the search engines we kept it in spite of my trepidation. If people are searching for it, why was I afraid to put it out there for them to find?

I could write my next book about all the times I had to keep myself from stepping away from POWER. So I’ll skip ahead to this morning’s Facebook visit.

My friend, Mitch Matthews, a Dream Booster beyond compare, posted that he thought about sharing a quote then decided he’d rather let everyone else share their favorites.

In the comments that followed, two people referenced the Marianne Williamson quote – “Our greatest fear is that we are POWERFUL beyond measure.” And one other comment complimented that beautifully – from Spencer Johnson in Who Moved My Cheese, “What would you do if you were not afraid?”

Why are we afraid of power? Of wanting it? Of displaying it? Of using it?

What would we do, who would we be, how much more could we accomplish, if we weren’t afraid of our own POWER?

What is power?

I’ll leave you with two sections of the Mirriam-Webster online dictionary – then I hope you’ll share your own observations below.

Examples of POWER (from Mirriam-Webster Free Online Dictionary)

1. She is from a very wealthy family with a lot of social power.
2. The company abused its power, forcing workers to work overtime without pay.
3. The company was almost destroyed in a power struggle between its two founders.
4. After the emperor died, power passed to his eldest son.
5. the peaceful transfer of power to the newly elected president
6. The president was removed from power in the recent uprising.
7. The new government has taken power.
8. The rebels rose to power several years ago.
9. A small company with only a few products has grown to become a power in the industry.
10. Our state is now the region’s leading economic power.

Origin of POWER  (from Mirriam-Webster Free Online Dictionary)

Middle English, from Anglo-French poer, pouer, from poer to be able, from Vulgar Latin *potēre, alteration of Latin posse— more at potent

POWER – in its original form – meant simply TO BE ABLE. The ability to get things done. Further connotation suggests (from the same root as the word POTENT) that it is a high LEVEL of the ability to get things done.

If we aren’t ABLE, what will we ever accomplish? If we don’t step into that ability, claim that POWER, how limited and small will our lives become? As Marianne says in that same quote, “Your playing small does not serve the world.”

And yet, in the examples given, I do not see ONE that I would want to “step into.” Not one. How about you?

I renewed my intention today, to step into my power, to claim my ABILITY to do what I came here to do and to become the person I desire to be. To be potent, and powerful, and DYNAMITE!

And to not be afraid of a word.

The post Are You Afraid of a Word? appeared first on Dixie Gillaspie.

I don’t remember the circumstances under which I wrote it, but finding it could not have come at a better time. For several reasons.

First, a selfish one. I’ve been challenged lately with people who only show me the worst of me and claim that is the all of me.

You know how that happens right? Someone pushes and pokes at your buttons until finally you react instead of respond, then BOOM, it’s “I knew you weren’t all that, look how bad you are!”  As if it weren’t punishment enough to know that you broke under pressure, they’re gloating because they goaded you into breaking.

And then there’s a certain someone who insists on painting me the way she needs to believe I am; an emotionally fragile, sensitive soul who can’t really be expected to keep an “even keel” in a crisis or get out of bed if there has been a tragedy.

So admittedly, my first thought on finding that old note card was, “These people really are weak to need to bring out my worst so that they can feel more powerful.”

I’m not proud that that was my first thought, but I am glad it led me to the next one. Which was;

“Do I have the courage not to let it matter? Am I brave enough to look for the best in everyone, including these individuals, regardless of how their worst is impacting me right now?”

Since having that thought there have been moments when the answer was “yes,” and moments when it was a resounding “NO!” Because the courage meter isn’t constant, it takes work to keep the needle to the right.

But here is what I’ve discovered about courage.

It’s easier to get yourself worked up about beating the competition than it is to get yourself calmed down enough to have compassion for someone who has set themselves against you.

It’s easier to believe in a win when you see the other person losing than it is to feel the joy of winning when the other person is still saying “I told you so.”

It’s easier to defend yourself than it is to embrace the one who is putting you down or beating you up.

We’re taught, in sports and in life, that it takes courage to play to win.

But, as James Carse points out in Finite and Infinite Games (a bit of a tedious read, but transformational!) when you’re playing to win, you’re playing a finite game – someone has to lose and then the game is over. But when you’re playing just to keep the game going, to keep the ball in the air, to keep the fun alive – well that is a game with no winners and no losers, only players.

Yes, I think it takes more courage to play for no other reason than because we love the game.

What do you think?

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If you’re a public figure, like the president of a country, it can mean a major shift in approval ratings. And we’re all public figures with approval ratings, aren’t we? Sometime or another we will all look into the eyes of one or more people whose approval matters to us, and we will ask them to believe when we tell them how we feel.

It might happen in a boardroom, in front of press cameras, or face-to-face with the most important person in your life.  Someday, your ability to control what your body says is in your heart will become vital to your future success – in business, in love, in life.

Will your conditioning keep you from being believed?

I’m not going to speculate whether or not Obama’s tears over the killings in Connecticut were faked. I don’t care. Not because his feelings don’t matter, but because I don’t believe tears shed (or not shed) are indicative of the sincerity of a heart.

The people expected tears. He tried to give them tears.

I’ve seen people stare into the distance with not a drop of moisture showing, even though I know their hearts are shredded and their pillows will be soaked before morning. I’ve seen people cry in public and gloat in private because their superb acting got them exactly what they wanted. I’ve watched people cry in wrenching sobs and silent waterfalls, and some, but not all, were actors onstage while I stood in the wings ready to adjust costumes or touch up makeup when the scene was over.

I’ve seen crying, and I’ve seen sorrow – and they weren’t always walking hand in hand.

Examine, if you will, the stereotypes about displaying feelings. What is the first “recording” that comes to mind when you imagine a girl, let’s say a 14 year-old, crying? Words of comfort and concern? Now switch your picture to a 14 year-old boy. What do you think he would hear? If the movie title Boys Don’t Cry, or the old adage “take it like a man” comes to mind, you aren’t alone.

Here’s what I’ve observed: girls cry because it serves them better than showing anger. Boys don’t cry because people make fun of them. Girls cry when they’re angry, boys hit when they’re sad.  Nothing to do with being from separate planets, just natural response to feedback and conditioning.

Now let’s time warp forward. Our 14 year olds are now 40 year olds. Or 50 year olds.

In the workplace, women who cry are considered “normal” but not “promotable.” Men who cry are considered… well, probably unstable.

In the workplace, a man who displays anger is considered “normal” and possibly even “powerful.” Women who display anger are considered…. Well, I’m not going there. I don’t even call my dog that name.

Speaking of conditioning – I grew up with a father who believed everyone should be able to control their feelings. Men, women, boys and girls. When I cried I often heard, “Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” I’ll bet a good number of you heard that one too. It’s taken me years to allow myself to show tears naturally. Conditioning.

While the hubbub over Obama’s tears (or lack thereof) got me thinking – this post isn’t about crying or the difference between boys and girls or men and women.

It’s about conditioning. About how we’re conditioned to play a role instead of speak our hearts. About how deep is our conditioned fear of showing something other than the Hollywood director’s version of what we feel, or what we think we’re supposed to feel.

My father didn’t cry easily.  Every time I saw him cry it left a mark on my soul. But if I believed he only felt deeply on those times I saw him cry, I would believe him to be nearly inhuman. And that isn’t how I remember my father at all.

He followed his conditioning. I cannot say it served him well. Which causes me to ask what conditioning I’m still following. And whether it serves me well. Or not.

I’m conducting my examination of how my conditioning does or does not serve me by starting with one key principle – any conditioning that requires me to be other than what I truly am, or that causes me to feel less because of what I truly am, does not serve me well.

What would your criteria be?

The post Do You Dare (Not) to Cry? appeared first on Dixie Gillaspie.

It Felt Love

How
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
All its
Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its
Being,

Otherwise,
We all remain
Too
Frightened. ~ Hafiz (trans. by Daniel Ladinsky)

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 “Fear can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. Unless you learn to embrace it you will spend your life either running or fighting.” 

My inbox saw a lot of DELETE activity this weekend.

Subject lines beginning with “Don’t Miss Out,” or “Almost Gone!” or “Tomorrow Will Be Too Late!!” were deleted before I even glanced at the sender’s identity.

Maybe I missed out on the best deal of my life, but I also bypassed a lot of hassle and stress. That’s also why I do not shop on “Black Friday.” Because I will not allow fear-based messages to take up space in my mind.

Here are three things I DO embrace about those messages:

1. They remind me of my Power of Consent (a phrase coined by my friend Richard Bach that I use often.) Each time a headline, subject line or pickup line screams (or even hints) that I’ll be SORRY if I don’t act NOW, I withdraw my consent to be manipulated, badgered, or frightened into making a choice under duress. I close my ears, look the other way, or hit the DELETE button and don’t give it another thought.
2. They remind me that I do not “want” for anything. There are things I desire, but I am not in a state of want. Because I lack nothing, I have everything I need, and can have anything I am willing to work for. So there is no “last chance” at anything I cannot be perfectly happy without.  As my friend and manifestation coach, Kimberly Schneider, says in the title of her book “Everything You Need is Right Here.” That mantra comes to mind when I recognize fear-based marketing for what it is.
3. And they remind me of what I choose NOT to be, and what I choose NOT to do to the people who connect with me. Which doesn’t mean I never have. Just that I have withdrawn my consent to USE fear to motivate anyone to make any choice. It is not who I intend to be.

Which isn’t to say fear isn’t an effective motivator. It is a powerful change agent, it’s just a poor change manager. In other words, fear is great at getting you to DO something, not so great at helping you choose the right thing to do.

I have a theory (or maybe a hope) that fear-based marketing is playing to a declining market share. That more and more savvy shoppers are letting the fears of missing out, not fitting in, paying a little extra, or waiting a little longer become an incentive to make better choices instead of knee-jerk decisions.

Because recognizing our fears allows us to meet those desires of being included, of getting a little extra, of having it all right NOW in other ways, no risking life and limb in a shopping frenzy and no buyer’s remorse required.

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You’ve been afraid, haven’t you?

It’s okay, you can admit it. Contrary to what sports enthusiasts and drill sergeants would have you believe, fear is nothing to be ashamed of.

But you don’t have to let it limit your life. In fact, moving through fear to make the choices that best serve your life is a prerequisite for living an unlimited life.

“Whatever you believe you fear owns your life.”

That’s from one of my journals, and anytime I believe I am afraid of something, I make it a point to take my life back by challenging that belief. But there is one fear, or belief in fear, that’s been kicking me in the teeth – or more accurately in the mind – for most of my life.

Last weekend, I got out my toolbox and did some major demolition. Because that belief in fear was in the way of something I wanted to do.

My toolbox is full of fear-blasting techniques and processes. But my demolition project last weekend took all of them; I even ended up creating some new ones. Taking you through all of it would require more space than I’m going to give it here. But I’ll walk you through the first three steps.

Step One – Balance fear against desire

Most people are afraid of lions, tigers, and bears. At least they would be if they encountered them in the wild. We accept this fear as reasonable since lions, tigers and bears all have a track record of doing significant damage to humans. Then there are those people who have dedicated much of their lives to encountering these magnificent creatures in their natural habitat. They probably experience fear from time to time, but they don’t let it limit their options.

The difference? Desire.

The naturalist, photographer, or even big game hunter (yes, I just shuddered) has a desire that can only be satisfied by overcoming fear to pursue a dream. If your fear isn’t keeping you from something you desire then it isn’t limiting your life. Is it?

Step Two – Create or examine your “safety net”

Most people are afraid of being propelled through the air, or falling from extreme heights. We accept this fear as reasonable since we’ve seen news stories about the impact the law of gravity has on a human body that got too far up to get down gently. Yet, there are people who jump out of airplanes and dive off of cliffs. And most of us have willingly subjected ourselves to the occasional rollercoaster ride.  We’ve learned to enjoy, even crave, the thrill of a jolt of adrenaline from time to time.

The difference? Belief in the “net.”

The skydiver, paraglider, cliff diver, and theme park thrill-seeker all “take the leap” because they believe in their skill, in their equipment, or in the roller coaster designer and operator. Because of this “safely net,” they can give themselves over to the sensation of flying, of free falling, of being suspended in breath-stopping motion, without really believing they are risking life or limb.

But what about people who are afraid of dogs, cats, or even mice? Or who freeze in panic when asked to climb a step ladder, cross a foot bridge, or jump the two feet from the stage to the dance floor?

What about the person who freezes, whose heart rate accelerates, who even has to fight the urge to inflict physical harm on another person – just because someone is pointing a camera at her?

Not a gun. A camera.

Yes, that was the big, bad, brick wall I ran into this weekend. A camera.

Ironically, I was talking about fear at the time. I had made a particularly impassioned statement about a course I’m teaching on Fear and Choices, and what I want people to understand about fear, My companion suggested that I share that passion in a video. And it just so happened he had a suitable recording device on hand.

My teeth clenched, my eyes narrowed, and I fought the usual desire to scream and run away.

I got through it – with no damage to people or property. In fact, the video came out pretty well in spite of sitting outside at a sidewalk cafe.

But that isn’t the reason I dread the moment when someone whips out a camera. It has nothing to do with the pictures that result. In fact, until this weekend, I wasn’t at all sure what it did have to do with.

But that brings us to step three – which is how I spent my weekend.

Step Three – Understand the source of the threat

You see, I had the desire. I really wanted to share what I’ve learned about living a powerful, unlimited life without succumbing to the fear cycles that paralyze so many people into a life of compromise and complacency. And it wasn’t just a desire to make that one video. In today’s culture, I know that videos and images are a key component of effective, evocative communication. So succumbing to my fear of being in front of a camera (no, the threat wasn’t really the camera, but that’s another story) was limiting my ability to communicate with all of you.

And I had a safety net. I was with a friend I trusted, in a place I love. I was in complete control of what I did or didn’t say, and where the video was or wasn’t shared.

Which left step three – to dissect and really understand source of the threat. Because, although in the video I refer to my fear as “unreasonable and irrational,” the truth is that a fear response is never without reason. It’s prompted by something. And that something is real so long as we believe in it. And to dissolve our belief, we have to know what it is.

I can’t say I will never have a fear response to a camera, or to people who don’t respect my person enough to ASK before they stick a camera in my face. But I now know what belief that fear is rooted in. And I’m at work uprooting it.

I’ll keep you posted.

And if you want to watch “that video” you’ll find it HERE.

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